doors closing, window opening

When God closes a door he opens a window, a window
He opens a window so I can see
He's working it out
The very best for me
He opens a window just for me

Yesterday was a bad day. A really bad day. A day so bad that when I got home, after 10pm, and overturned my deliciously prepared snack (Balsamic & Basil Triscuits topped with sliced tomato, dijon mustard, garlic and drizzled with balsamic vinaigrette) all over J. before I even took a bite, that was it. I called it quits on the day. I cleaned up the mess, silently grabbed my book, and headed to bed...where J. found me an hour later, in tears, curled into the fetal position.

I said it was a bad day. Don't judge.

I went to sleep silently begging God to please, please, make today better. I wasn't angry yesterday, I wasn't frustrated, I didn't get mad or yell or scream or take things out on anybody. Thank goodness. I was, however, demoralized and discouraged. I needed something hopeful to happen today.

All day yesterday, I felt doors closing. Some just plain shut me out, leaving me feeling bereft on the doorstep of places I once felt at home. Others seemed to be, like garage doors, trapping me into a dark, enclosed space with no means of escape. Still others felt like I was entering into a long hallway, doors on either end, but possessing no key for either.

This morning, I woke up determined that today would be a better day. I woke up with thanksgiving that mercies are new every morning, that I'm still here and I'm still okay. That's the thing about faith. Almost immediately, hope emerged. I hesistate to discuss details any further until there is certain confirmation, but still, there it was: unlikely, unexpected, yet real and tangible and, above all, uplifting.

When I was a child, my family owned a tape cassette of The Dreamer, a far more "Christian" musical version of the biblical story of Joseph than the better-known Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. This song, from that musical, has been stuck in my head all day.

For anyone out there looking for hope...
The dawn will come. A brand new day, a brand new song in your heart.

When doubt and disappointment hide the morning sun
When all my dreams have ended, all my songs are sung

His spirit soars within me, every doubt is gone
I see a new horizon
I sing a brand new song

For in his perfect timing up ahead a light is shining
And I know the dawn will be arriving very soon

When God closes a door he opens a window, a window
He opens a window so I can see
He's working it out
The very best for me
He opens a window just for me

When every road I travel leads back to where I've been
When fear about tomorrow settles deep within

He gives me new direction and takes the fear away
He opens up the future and brings a brand new day
A brand new day

For in his perfect timing up ahead a light is shining
And I know the dawn will be arriving very soon

When God closes a door he opens a window, a window
He opens a window so I can see
He's working it out
The very best for me
He opens a window just for me

He Opens A Window,
from The Dreamer