Apart from a belated Happy New Year, I suppose, to all.
This blog has reached the end.
It's fitting, somehow, that as the new year began, I felt the need for change. For growth. It's fitting that this blog, which saw me through several seasons of life, which allowed me a place to rant and vent and hash out my at-times turbulent thoughts, began at the end of one year and is ending at the beginning of another. It's fitting that this is a milestone: this is my 99th post on this blog.
Want the truth? I lost sight of what it is that I wanted to say when this blog began. Or perhaps it was that I never realized exactly what it was that I wanted to say; that the haphazard, random thoughts I had never really took on any kind of structure. I began to feel guilty for that, somehow, and my words dried up. Literally. I felt, often, that I had nothing to say, and so I started writing about how I had nothing to say, and then apologizing for it. What?
I want to point out that in the years since this blog began, blogging has become extremely popular - everyone and their dog now has a blog. I touched on this in an earlier post, and again, I'm not trying to sound cynical, but I didn't (and still don't) want to become just another blogger posting pictures of everyday life for public sharing and scrutiny. I am in no way hating on those who do, but that is absolutely not why I want to blog, or what I want to blog about, and that's why I've struggled with it so very much in recent months.
Firstly, because privacy is important to me. Much as I love the concept of people reading my words, delving into my thoughts, challenging my ideas, I don't like the notion of people seeing into my personal life. Call me hypocritical, because I'm not going to say I don't enjoy an occasional perusal through the photos of other bloggers, but constant visibility just isn't my thing. Sorry.
Secondly, because I don't like what it can do to people. Let me explain. The amount of time that people spend devoted to their blogs, devoted to seeking the attention and approval of an online community of people they've never met, is kind of repulsive to me. Gone are the days when the intimacy of a one-on-one conversation, or a face-to-face meeting, were the connecting points for relationship. It's personal, too. I have watched friends change. They look for the next blog (or facebook, or twitter, for that matter) photo op rather than enjoying the moment. They spend more time reading about and commenting on the lives of people they've never met than investing time and energy into people they know. You can complain about being too busy to see your friends, but how, then, do you have the time to spend networking with strangers online?
Thirdly, I wanted to find a reason to post. Some meaningful reason that would keep me coming back to write, rather than avoiding it day after day after day. I wanted to find an outlet that spurred inspiration and imagination, rather than the stagnancy and sluggishness I have felt when thinking about blogging of late. Truth be told, every time I've posted over the last few months (and I know it's been rare!) it's felt like a chore, the upkeep of something that I know I want to do in my head, but I'm not feeling in my heart. Not good.
I've thought and prayed about it hard. Trust me.
I'm ridiculously excited, completely inspired.
And no longer lacking challenge.
I hope that any and all of you who have visited this blog will be excited to continue the journey with me. I'm currently working on formatting an entirely new blog here at juliahendrik.blogspot.com, at which point this blog will be found at juliahendrik-beautyforashes.blogspot.com.
I have greatly appreciated your comments, love and support.
Life has been an incredible rollercoaster ride these last few years.
Thank you, with all my heart, for reading along.
*Sneak peek of the new blog header*
Stay tuned for the imagination to improvise, coming soon!
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